*WARNING!! Absolute emo post. Pls do not proceed if you're gonna criticize.*
Yea... that's life. Sometimes it gets a little
soggy and a little foggy but then people can still move on.
I.... however, am not one of those people.
There are things, in which people do not need to
put any effort at all to achieve something they want.
For some of us who have tried, cried and
searched so hard, we did not achieve the ideal happiness that we want.
And are you gonna tell it to my face that i have
NOT tried? That I have NOT cried and searched HARD ENOUGH? Boo you~ How dare
you~
You're not me, so who are you to tell me that I did not try? WTF?!
Though I admit Im not quite the brightest
person, I've gone through multiple times of failures that you could not
have imagine, and yet I've put my heart and soul into doing something.... in the
end, I'll still lose to the next person who only spent a quarter of the effort that I've used.
So, are you telling me that doing things last
minute gets you better grades? or is it true that there are geniuses out there?
Well, I'll take that point. There are people
like these out there, which can achieve something w/o even any effort at all.
It just comes like that. *snap*
"Work smart not hard".... another
stupid phrase that was created by God knows who... =.=lll
So are you trying to say that our ancestors
before us, who has put much effort into maintaining this beautiful world for
us, who has worked hard w/o any technology..... worthless?!
**********
Living in a world full of lies.... hidden
masks...who you thought was your friend could turn out to be your enemy.
.Betrayal.
Stunned by the betrayal from my so-called
"best friend", as rumours spread, I start to lose myself in the
crowd. Uneasy feelings comes to me as all the weird or hateful eyes start
looking at me.
Makes me wonder whether there is another passer
by who secretly dislikes me and starring me down as though he/she wanted to
kill me.
That was when my
"happiness" smothered into tiny little pieces, crushed by
all these hate, betrayal, loneliness and rumours. I have been there.... I've
gone through hell lot of things that you couldnt imagine.
Life at that time was meaningless to me. I hated
the world, I hated my life, I hated that i was born into this world, I wanted
to end my life.
All i could do is just hide under my blanket,
and cry myself to sleep. Sometimes wishing that tomorrow will be a better day.
...Betrayal knows my name...
"sorry..." Sorry was the only thing you could ever said.
Well you know what? Sorry doesnt make everything better! I wonder which person came up with this word too.
SORRY...SORRY
What is sorry anyway? Sorry aint grand, sorry aint a big word, sorry doesnt make things better.
Saying sorry after you have murdered someone? Yea right, sorry is not gonna bring him back to life.
Saying sorry after you have broken your mum's or aunt's vase? Sorry is not gonna seal the vase back together.
Saying sorry after you have stabbed her in the back with all those words? F***k u!! The words that you've said couldnt be taken back anymore!! So what if you have apologize? You could not take back those words, not everything will be ok when you say SORRY!!!!!!!
I might seem like I forgive but always bear in mind that I FORGIVE BUT I DO NOT FORGET!!!
**********
.Hidden Masks.
I am sure a lot of people out there goes out
with their masks, not showing the world their true colours. Hidden behind a
FAKE expression.
I am also one of them. I have a mask, a mask I wear everyday... showing my happy/silly face, showing that Im strong. Truth is, I am
never strong, I only look tough on the outside, but on the inside, this girl
wants to burst into tears.
Why u ask? Well, i have a terrible habit, which
is putting others' importance 1st than mine. I care too much about others to
care about myself anymore. Hence, i do not want to show my down moments in
front of those i love and cherish.
Why worry them? All i have to do is just keep
these feelings inside me and everything will be just fine.
Its not what i enjoy doing, its just that i have
been going it through ever since my primary school years. Growing up with all these lies,
masks, and betrayal, its hard for me to trust and hold onto something dearly.
I have been strong but I have been weaker.
**********
.Happy times.
A shoulder for me to lie on, a phone call for me
asking how was i, a worried message from a friend asking am i alright, a hand
for me to hold on, a wondrous listener, some encouragement.... this is all i
need sometimes, really.
As i grew, i did start to gave up on life or
even my goals in life. But.... doing something now that most people would not
encourage, im glad i did it. Because of this, i have found back my happy
schooling life again.
What kind of friend actually tells you that
you're too old to learn? What kind of friend asks you why the hell you do this,
its a waste of time.
Please.... you're no friend at all. I said i was
learning arts in TOA, and you started giving me lectures about being too old to
learn and telling me that its a waste of time.
Hello.... a bit of encouragement will do a bit
of help ya'know.
Life is definitely way different than what i had
to go through last time. Eventhough sometimes it feels a bit like the past but
its much better as i know that there are people out there who are there for me
when i need a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on or even a listener to just
listen to my problems.
Thank you.... i know it might not sound like
anything grand but to me, it means a lot. So, thanks again my friends and you.
You have never given up on me, always
encouraging me, giving me positive point of views, though its still hard for me
to accept it once in a while, but i thank you too. Love you guys loads. ^^
