*warning: This post is dedicated to my dog. If u're not an animal loving person then i suggest u stop here and not continue. And if u are, maybe u should toughen up a bit to read. I dunno...*
This post is dedicated to the dog, that has been with me since i was in Primary 1; that played with me when im bored, does a trick when i gave food to him, always there when i walk to the door, yes... thats my lovely dog, Toto, who has moved on to a better world.
But first and foremost, Toto is not directly my dog, it belongs to my uncle but i see him everyday so he is like my own dog.
It was on June24 when i found out that Toto was suffering from leg numb-ness and couldnt managed to even get up to walk or even move to his food.
Few months back, i already knew that his time is around the corner, just only when i will not know.
I tried spending as much time as i could with him, pat him and show him love whenever i can. But i couldnt stand the fact that he has got to go.
I tried to be strong for him, as i sat there looking at him trying to get up and just... just to walk that few steps.
He couldnt, he couldnt... and i just sat there, tears rolling down my cheek~
"Its time" said my uncle. I refused and resisted loads of times. My uncle wanted to "put him to sleep". I think u guys know what i meant. I do not want him to do it.
But my uncle said its better, cos if u do not do it now, he is gonna suffer more, not being able to get up and all. Not even get up to pee. Yes, he is pee-ing on himself.
I had to accept it gradually cos its not my decision to make, it was my uncle's. On June25, he asked me to help him carry Toto to the back of his car where he's gonna take Toto to the vet. I was already crying then, not looking at Toto, carrying the mat that my uncle placed under Toto.
Toto tried getting up, not knowing what are we doing to him. He tried getting up but failed. He even fell off the mat a few times and we had to put him back onto the mat.
Finally in the back of the car, that was my last goodbye to him. I did not look back and went straight into the house, crying a Niagara falls. My grandma tried consoling me but i just couldnt stop the tears from falling.
When my parents came back from work, they even asked about Toto and i just kept crying. They kept saying his name over and over again and i couldnt take it. I finished a whole box of tissues. T___T
Its already July 5. I did not want to post about this till i was more calmed.
Oh how terribly wrong i was. As im typing this now, my tears are still rolling down my cheeks. Whatthehell... using more than 5tissues now *with red eyes and nose*.
I guess i wasnt as strong-minded that i thought i could be.
I thought i could let it go but it looks like Toto lives in me and i wont and never will be able to forget him.
|soaking up the sun after a nice bath... ^^|
Toto... u have been such a good boy. I will never forget you...
U live in me and thats a fact.
Times spent together was a blast because it was with you...
I hope u are in a better world now for i'll be glad. ♥♥♥
Im sorry if my post bore u. Some people might not take their pets seriously but im the kind that does. So if u feel that im overreacting with this whole thing over some dog, PLEASE GET THE F*** OUTTA HERE!!
U dont deserve to be human if u are cos u're inhumane.
They're living creatures, not some undead species. For god sake, i even shed tears for those stray dogs that get knock down by cars almost everyday.
Because i have a heart... if u had one
